We all have it: COVID 19. It’s a rhythm thing

The hardest part of catching a virus is when it’s coming on…you feel terrible, you start making all kinds of plans to deal with getting sick, cancelling obligations, re-arranging work.  Your head buzzes with infection. You’re mad and sick at the same time;  you’re mad at yourself for getting sick, for having a break in your immune system. You curse your army, your fortress of protection for failing at their jobs. Your soldiers have fallen down on the field, even though you’ve worked hard to keep them in shape.

You’re mad that you have to do all this scrambling. You don’t know how long it’s going to last, and finally, you feel terrible…

You try to stay calm and let the virus run its course, because you know that’s all you can do.  You try to hunker down and accept the fact that you’re sick.  You try to stop stressing about stressing… You try. And you try some more and this just makes it all worse. This feeds the fever–it’s getting worse.

The virus blossoms to its full self… you might lose some more sleep, you might lose a few pounds, you might lose your pride, you might lose your “joie” You curse and complain,  you whine, you feel sorry for yourself.  You imagine being sick for weeks, or months… maybe you wonder if this thing is going to kill you?   You begin to think it’s your fault, because you skipped that extra workout at the gym, you shouldn’t have eaten all those Dorritos.

You worry about others in your immediate circle… you want company because you feel so shitty, but you don’t want to be a jerk and ask people to expose themselves to your illness.  You don’t want anyone to bring you any new germs either. You have no energy to do anything, you lament the hours you’re “wasting.” You watch TV, but that makes you feel worse for lots of reasons. The people on daytime TV seem to know you’re laid up and they play to your worst impulses — pummeling you with ads about medicines and filling the screen with insidious programming.

You’re just plain sick.

You’re just plain lousy.

A day passes, a week?

But then…something happens…

You sweat. Something breaks…it’s the fever.  Some destructive pattern has been halted.

The army is more efficient, the fortress walls are getting fresh brick and mortar. There’s a bit of a lift in your heels… small energy pockets are renewed and released into your bloodstream.  You’re getting an organic blood transfusion as your army gets on their feet, weapons in hand, ready to tackle the enemy. The battle continues, but something is different now. Your foot soliders begin to get the upper hand.  You can feel the rush of fresh energy. It’s called Hope. The hope builds upon itself, and soon the soldiers are pumped with enthusiasm – they fight with vim and vigor, getting the advantage in the fight brings them joy, even a thrill.You start to be assured…yes! I have resistance…I have regained control Yes! Yes! …I will beat the enemy. Yes! I will win.

The hope and the confidence has its own momentum, much like the negative momentum of falling ill…It is ACTION/REACTION. The curve begins to have a completed shape…Another rise, another fall, symmetry in nature. It’s a rhythm thing.

It’s a vibration, a sound wave, a moment to realize: we’re lucky. We can heal.

As a global community, we’re not there yet. One case at a time.

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